Reality Check

Recently, I read an article on Relevant Magazine called "Everyone Loves Sex. So Why Wait?" and while the author makes compelling points for how significant sex is in our lives, he barely scratches the surface at what a gift the Lord has given us in this act.

I couldn't stop thinking about all of the other reasons for why sex is reserved for marriage. And it boils down to a completely different foundation of thinking. What if instead of viewing life as God pointing to our reality, we saw it as our reality pointing to God? Stay with me. 

In Genesis, God made man. In His image. And it was good. But "it is not good that man should be alone" (Gen 2:18), so He made man a partner, woman. So, if he made man in His image, but needed to create woman to make it more good, it follows that the man and woman more perfectly image (that is, to embody) the Creator of the Universe. It is in man and woman that the King of Kings is revealed in a special way on Earth. Which makes perfect sense when we see God as Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One being couldn't image the Trinity fully. To image the relationship within the Trinity requires an other, to fully express the love and community between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and the fruit created.

It is within the relationship between man and woman that we can more fully understand God for who He is. Meaning, in the most intimate encounter between man and woman, we can see God. The gift of sexual union is a prayerful experience in that through it, we can come to know God deeper. During the marital union, we see God's capacity for love in an earthly way. We open ourselves, making ourselves completely vulnerable, to our spouse and allow our spouse to enter fully into ourselves. The oneness, unity, and huge, gigantic love between the Trinity can be seen in this very act. By working together for the other's good, by fully opening ourselves to the other, by experiencing physical pleasure, and by becoming one though we are two, we can see the mystery and beauty of the Trinity.

Which is where I agree with the statement from Relevant's article that marriage is a "bond...so powerful, so transcending, that marriage is the only force that can contain it."

The biggest, most incredible, most ultimate part of the marital union is that it creates. It is the end toward which the marital union is geared. The Lord's love is so powerful that by His very breath, He speaks Creation into being. His love is so strong and so efficacious that it begets fruit. And, in marriage, we get to participate in that same creation. In the unity of a man and woman, one being is created from two. A new life is created from mere matter from two souls. Fruit, offspring, beautiful children are created through this wondrous act of love in the same way that the Lord's love was so big that He begot his Son and continues to multiply His love through the Holy Spirit. 

When we use this understanding to look at sex, we see that sex embodies the relationship between the Trinity. As we see that the Trinity is loving, inseparable, vulnerable, and fruitful, we can see all of those within the marital bond. And when we get to experience that...our spiritual understanding of sex is vastly, vastly expanded.

When we see our reality as imaging God, our whole world comes alive: in our relationships, our marriages, and in the wonderful Creation that surrounds us. For example, instead of when a good father reminds you of the goodness of God the Father, the more sacred outlook is seeing that the Lord's qualities that make Him the ultimate Father are within that father before you. This participation in our reality is discussed by St. Paul throughout all of his letters when he discusses being "one body in Christ, and individually members of one another" (Rom 12:5) using the terms "in Christ" and "in Him".  That "in" denotes participation in Christ's life, sacrifice, and redemption, inasmuch as the entire Trinity, since all are One. After I listened to this podcast based on a new perspective on Paul, my world has literally been turned upside down.

Sex is reserved for marriage, not only because it's a blessing meant to be shared with only one person, but because it's sacred: an outward sign of an inward reality, one of the most significant earthly ways that we can experience and come to know God. It points toward the most perfect union - the Trinity - and so we must strive to live out married life as perfectly as we can to make manifest that most perfect bond. It is in our covenant to each other that we can experience God's covenant with us. Anything outside of marriage defies that. 

For further reading on this subject, check out the Theology of the Body Institute and The Cor Project by Christopher West. 

- Holly

Love and Violence

As many of you have probably heard, an auxiliary bishop of Newark was assaulted at a Mass offered for Roberto Clemente (this is apparently a thing in New Jersey). If you haven’t seen the video or read any accounts, it’s pretty shocking. Basically, a very loudly dressed man steps into the sanctuary, walks up to the bishop, and punches him right in the face. With the abundance of indestructible TV and movie characters who can take dozens of punches and keep moving, it’s easy to forget how visceral and painful a blow to the face can be. It’s really the most basic and primal act of violence that one can perform. What makes the scene even more bizarre is the fact that assailant apparently walked straight out of a Flannery O’Connor short story. Seriously, read about this guy’s background. Crazy.

But I don’t want to focus too much on the assault itself. I think it’s sufficient to say that it’s a startling reminder that we live in a broken world and that the forces of evil haven’t gone away on vacation (like we needed more confirmation of that). What I do want to highlight are two aspects of the event that caught my attention. The first is the timing of the incident. Bishop Cruz had just finished the penitential rite when the man steps in front of him, poised to strike. The bishop has literally just finished praying that God have mercy on us and forgive us our sins and in the next moment he is laid out by a very angry man. I don’t think that I could imagine a more fitting illustration of humiliation (which, in essence, is the action of being humbled). Mere moments after confessing that he - along with all of us - is weak and sinful and desperately in need of God’s mercy and forgiveness, the bishop has this notion confirmed in a very real way. I am by no way insinuating that the bishop deserved being attacked or that it was because he was a sinner. What I mean is that here we see what it means to be made low. It’s painful and embarrassing and wholly unpleasant, but it’s what we open ourselves up to when we cling to Christ. After all, what we see as the ultimate victory, the cross, is viewed by the rest of the world as nothing more than a failure, the death of one leader among many. When you think about it, the image of a bishop lying on the ground, struck down while in the process of praying for himself and his flock, rings more true than many other contemporary depictions of the faith.

Lest I get too gloomy (let’s all pray for more suffering!) let me move on to the second facet of the attack that I noticed. For me, this is the most significant part of the whole ordeal and the one on which I think we all need to focus. After the bishop is knocked back and falls to the ground, the camera pans to the left to show several police officers tackling and restraining the attacker. But in the bottom right corner of the screen, you can see the altar server cradling the bishop’s head in his lap and seemingly trying to comfort him.

Pictured: The Catholic Church. 

This seriously almost makes me cry every time I see it. It is such a candid and spontaneous gesture of love and compassion. I don’t know if the altar server knew the bishop personally or not, but regardless, here is a young man doing what he can to relieve a spiritual father’s suffering and protect him from further harm. And that’s what the Church is! We are all sinners and every so often we are made to know just how lowly and vulnerable we are. And when that happens, we can count on the loving embrace of our Lord and each other to raise us back up. Yes, we suffer, but we suffer together. When one part of the Body of Christ is harmed, we all feel it. And we know that this is not done in vain, but rather we find solace and fulfilment in uniting our suffering to Christ’s and to His Body.

There are probably many other lessons that can be extracted from this occurrence, but I hope others will take some time to think about the ones I’ve mentioned. We all need a reminder to follow St. John the Baptist and declare, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” We need to remember to let go of haughty notions of ourselves, to be prepared to be made low. But at the same time, we can also rely on the healing love of Christ to grow with us, fostered and sustained by encountering His Body.

- Daniel